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Funny Quotes

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The wedding lasts for two or three days, but the trouble stays longer.


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A person learns as long as he lives and still dies a fool.


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A donkey that goes to Mecca will not come back as a pilgrim.


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Death is just a noun which takes all the parts of speech of life with it.


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If you give me rice, I’ll eat today; if you teach me how to grow rice, you’ll never see me again.


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When the devil changes the music, people also change the dance.


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When the fool knows when to be silent, he would be sitting among the wise.


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The anvil never takes advice from the hammer.


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Sex is the only field where the amateur is favoured and the professional is disapproved.


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Keeping a woman to her word is like trying to hold an alligator by its tail.


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There are two kinds of women who like to talk a lot; the married women and the single ones.


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Woman was created last so she wouldn’t have to wait for someone to talk to.


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Before marriage, her parents wonder when he will go home; after marriage, she wonders when he will come home.


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There are two kinds of dieters: those who are always telling you what to eat and those who are always telling you what not to eat.


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Many accidents in the home occur in the kitchen, more in the bathroom but most occur in the bedroom.


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The doctor asks the patient what is wrong, and then the patient asks the doctor what is wrong.


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A girl puts a little into a bikini but gets a lot out of it.


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A bridegroom is a man who agrees to marriage before marriage disagrees with him.


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When a man doesn’t go straight home, his wife’s remarks do.


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Some women spend the first part of their lives looking for a husband, and the last part wondering where he is.


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Car accidents usually result from one person being in too great a hurry and the other not being in a hurry at all.


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Parents usually know where a teen-age son is: he is in the family car; but they don’t know where the car is.


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The only thing money won’t buy is an item which is not for sale.


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A spare tyre is something that you don't check until you have a punctured one.


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You know your child is growing up when he starts looking at girls the same way he used to look at dessert.

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