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Funny Quotes

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Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.


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The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.


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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.


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It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.


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A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.


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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.


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From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.


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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.


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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.


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In politics, it is better never to have loved at all than to have loved and lost.


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If you are going to die, you will die in the dark even if you have candle business.


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He who wants to kill a dog says that he has urinated against the mosque.


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If we could predict the future, we would sit beside the God.


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Fall down seven times stand up eight. - Could anyone show me how?


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Death is nothing but the body of a dead who has just died.


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If you want to know where God is, go to desert searching for a well.


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If there were no God, the Government wouldn’t take too much time to take the position.


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Honeymoon is a trial period in which no complaints will be accepted.


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Just because you are a good friend of a scorpion doesn't mean that you can't be stung by a bee.


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Love is the light of life; in marriage, it is the electricity bill.


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Marriage is a stupidity that is celebrated for two.


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Whoever keeps his mouth shut when he realizes that he is wrong is wise and he who holds the mouth even if he is right is married.


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Life is just a journey between Delete and Recycle Bin in which love is a Virus.


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There are three things most men love but never understand; females, girls and women.


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Marriage is functional in which the woman must cook the food every day and the man has to eat it every day.

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